My mind is the roller coaster track and my life is the car. It hurts to think about living right now.

I called the kid today on my way to work to inform him that I would be calling him when I got out--about 9 hours later...Perhaps not the best way to go about things, but as I've said, I'm not so great at thinking lately.

Let me backtrack about 48 hours.

Tuesday night I had a dream about running. This has been a re-occuring theme in my dreams since I was a child. That fact JUST dawned on me Wednesday morning. I am a goddamned genius. It is not so much that I'm running in the dream, its more that I have a great desire to be running specifically with my legs outstretched in an ballet-esque leap. To feel this open:

http://www.artsjournal.com/tobias/images/syl1r.jpg

But in these dreams, my legs will only take these small, cramped steps that anger, confuse, and frustrate me, so I end up running on all fours, using my arms to pull myself forward and drawing my legs in to follow. It feels like something a big cat would do, like a cheetah chasing something in the wild. Like this:



Except in my dream I'm still a clumsy bi-ped running on all fours.

And so this theme of wanting to run but not being able to has been a life-long dream occurance. Except yesterday, I woke up, and went for a run on the treadmill telling myself that I think I was made to fly.

ALERT*ALERT*ALERT*
This post is incomplete, but I will continue it when I can find the damned power supply to my computer. Until then my computer will be shutting down. Lame.